A Lovely Dream

wearing my dads sweater.

December 18, 2011

I got an apartment above my store. FABULOUS.  It was too hard carting the doggies in the car and having to bring food for them and me, every day, drudge drudge drudge. 

The little man from Italy who is my landlord, who came into the store, held up a large stick I have leaning against the wall and asked, in broken english thick Italian accent, "But what are you going to do with this?" and I said, "Don't you worry! It will be beautiful! Hey, do you  have any apartments in this building for rent?"

"For who?"

"For me!"

"Yes, right above you!"

So me and doggies will move in january first.  I still will give mom money for a few months to help her until social security starts to pay her. So I have to start making new classes and kits. (Fairies) in addition to my other work. But it is LOVELY.  A home and a store.

I'm painting a quote and there is still much to do for this place. I will have more pictures soon.

 

I'm still here

She likes her head up like that. Maybe its the angle that helps her smooshed in face breath better. Or maybe its because she has no chin. Maybe she hates being little and wants an eye on what everyone is doing. (everyone being me and finn).  She loves to sit this way.

   I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I haven't documented my life in awhile, and I need to. I need to be here because it keeps me clear.  It's never been a problem to talk about my life in public, people ask me how I have the balls to do it.  But all of this, all of it, was started because if I didn't get real then I was going to die.  It's easy to lie to yourself when no one is around. Not lie exactly, but to be unclear. You need a place where you have to be absolutely honest or everyone will know its bullshit. Thats what documenting my life in public does for me.  So I've been floundering.

Well, not about work.  I've been writing my book for Quarry - due July 1. A book all on my ownesome.  Plus I made a soldering class and I'm filming the best Journal class evah (begins May 1). It's not like I'm watching reality tv. But emotionally I am all over the place.

Work space is, well, it is what it is.  I don't love it and I don't know what I should do.  I live in paradise but my house has no natural light.  I never see the ocean.  And it's tiresome to hear, "But Gawd, you're a few blocks away! Get out there and enjoy it!"

 

Today I make background papers and log in the photos for chapter 4, then begin chapter 3 sketches and outline, Begin work on journal class. Go food shopping (stealing ideas from the menu of a good restaurant bcz I still have no idea).  I take breaks to feed babies and walk them and I'm wearing the pajamas I had on this morning and passing us by on the road every 20 seconds is a bicyclist in black stretchy shorts and neon helmet.  Even Lance Armstrong was in town last week.  Everyone is training for the olympics and I didn't even shower today.

Finny's tail was better but it's bothering him again. We go back to the vet soon for a recheck so we'll see whats happening.  Now that the staff infection has cleared they can tell the underlying cause. He might have a cyst in the tail that will continuously bother him until it's taken off. He's doing good though. He plays and giggles with me.

Because I got this place as temporary and didn't think about the future I never bought any furniture. I need a box spring and frame though I have to get my mattress off the ground.  I'm getting one tomorrow. No matter what the future holds it will make me feel more stable to sleep higher.
     And so that's it. I'm doing the work of my dreams and figuring out where to go from here. I can go absolutely anywhere that is not humid (except europe because they quaranteen your pets for 6 months).  A little artists colony somewhere would be nice, someone said Indiana - but I have asthma. Much too humid. Problem with paradise is a house is 600,000 here and you are right on top of your neighbors. I can do better than that. I want quiet. Small town.  I think I miss trees.


The Journal Class will be special. I promise you. Forgive me for being absent? I promise to be around more. I will blog everyday for April, okay? Without you I don't do very well.

Blue Corn Chips
Black Bean Dip
Brown Rice
Red Onions
Cheese
Salsa
Guacomole
Sour Cream

 

Thankful But Cold

I have much to be thankful for.  I have 3 furbabies and I make art for a living. That alone is enough. And sometimes I lead a magical life. Most times, though, I am just an artist.

  It's winter by the sea and I live in an old house without insulation and the heater is in one room. I dont dwell long anywhere else in the house, I prop the bed next to the heater, and last night I caught site of myself and had a moment of hormonal existential crisis. I wore two wool sweaters, scarf, and hat, to bed. So much in my life is right but for the last 24 hours since it got cold all I could think about was getting warm.

There is no 'here'. Some areas of your life might work very well but there will always be somthing that is not right. Let's pick someone we think has made it. Let's pick the lovely Claudine Helmuth. I've met her in person and she is even more stunning. And down to earth and fabulous.  Recently I learned one of her cats passed away, (cat, yes? Im pretty sure it was a cat). And this is not so long after her Toby had gone.  We know that pain, you and I, and it's bottomless.  What good is anything if we have to feel all of that? I will be running blindly and crying when the day comes to say goodbye to the gigi.

Sometimes you have to work at being hapy. Yes, here I am again, covered in cat hair sleeping in a hat and scarf on the floor close to the heater. Shouldn't I be somewhere else by now?  

 

But whatever somewhere else is, where I am supposed to be, I am here. I am an artist. Living with my paintings, invited to thanksgiving by people who didn't know me. I eat good food and laugh until it aches.

This is right here right now.  Never will everything in our lives be perfect. We will go down roads we never thought we'd go down, again. We will look not 'put together' enough to others.  And we must make it a habit, especially at those times, to look past what others might be thinking and look for the truth.  Only love is real. Look for the love in your life.

Quiet and books and tea and my easel. And if it all goes away this is where I will be. I haven't changed and my life is pretty much the same as it always was.  It's all about the work. I get distracted with what might be missing from my life - the things that will make me more acceptable in conversation - truth is I don't care. I just want to kiss fur and paint.

This is where I am today. I am living with these 3 people: two mermies and what is supposed to be a pirate but right now looks like a missionary.  I need to bring them to life more than I need to do my hair or make my bed and to some of you that makes me a whacko.  And thats okay.  Today, I release the need to make anyone happy - except my fur tribe, and my images. Oh and me too.

Where Suzi Creates

Gigi and Finney say, "Hey this place could use a little spiffen up.  I know its a Gypsy Wagon and all with this drapery, but you could put more effort into it."

"Yeah!"


So this is how it was before. The couch in the back was on the right side and the wall under the bay windows is bare.

I took my favorite gypsy colors, dark purple, mauve, golden yellow, pink, brown, dash of light blue, and glued fabric and collage papers over the paneling with Mod Podge. Its the wonder glue! I don't like it for fine art but for this its perfect. It's sticky and plastic and makes a nice top layer coat to protect the fabric.

 
And this room is all about this window. It is the focal point of the room and my favorite part of the house.  The couch on the left feels awkward and misplaced. So my idea is to put it under the window once the Gypsy Patchwork is done.

And so here it is finished. I am so happy!
The window treatments need to be more colorful I think.

The pink paisley is paper from Pier One that is for wrapping gifts. It comes in rolls and was 4.00. You get a lot. Its not hand made but its paper and gorgeous. The rest is fabric.  The little green flower swatch at the bottom right is scrapbook paper. Why not literally, put your favorite fabrics and papers on your walls!

This is the view from the living room into the rest of the house.  A bit cluttered but I'm working on it. The right is where I house a lot of art supplies. Bins don't look attractive open like that so I'm going to put fabric over the openings so your eye doesn't see what is inside. It will be more calming when there is less detail to look at.

This is my painting corner and I love it. Lots of natural sunlight.  Working on mermaids there. For my Sirena Finale I'm going to do that large canvas in the back.  I feel you must make big things to be a real artist. Silly, I know.  Something my inner critique tells me. But it's not a bad thing.  Small paintings get eaten up on big walls. And I would like to walk into a room and THERE the painting is and you can't stop looking at it.  I am thinking a mermaid scene, with several languid girls.

The view from the kitchen table. Not too gypsy.  The floor needs a really great rug.
Plum or deep purple.

Kitchen.  I envision that splashback to be mosaic.  Just need some sea glass and plaster and broken china.  Not sure when I will get around to that. The handles need to be changed on the cabinets that's the first thing. Something jewel like. Maybe every handle different. The purple I painted on the bottom left cabinet is chalk paint, so I can write messages on there.

Gigi Rainbow Sparkle at the breakfast table.

Mmm banana french toast and chamomile tea on gypsy plates.

This area I'm not crazy about. I need to get a more interesting pattern over these cushions. These are table cloths and sheets and a sarong. They are ok for now but kind of dull.  Something bold.

Finnegean Glitter Sunshine Magic watches me critique student work and drink a blueberry smoothie.  Next I will show you the bedroom which needs pattern and color. Subtle, I want the bedroom to remain soft, but it needs more going on - with a quilt and curtains, wall things.