When you open up to beauty, you realize how much there is around you. If you step out of self loathing, the feeling that you are never good enough, you WILL see the beauty that is you. If you have ever loved anyone, a family member, a friend, a dog, then you know full well that an ordinary-looking person can become miraculously perfect in your eyes, once you love them.
I propose we think this way of ourselves. We are all miraculous, and ordinary, at the same time. My dad used to say to me after looking at my videos, "Sometimes you look very pretty, and some times you don't." He didn't mean to offend me, but it hurt. I wanted to be physically pretty all the time, which to me meant that I was worthy. I remember being 15 and having my first panic attack on a morning before school because I could not get myself to look good enough. I don't know what was actually wrong with me, probably nothing, but I was convinced I was not pretty enough to be in public. I was 15. Being 47, I now know, for a fact, that every 15-year-old girl is beautiful. My god, youth, right? Gorgeous they are!
Dad was an Aquarius and blunt about the truth, he couldn't help it. He was the same way about himself. He was making a correct statement: in my videos and my photos, and in life, I am not 'on' all the time. My mom wore thick eyelashes and gold slippers to clean the house. I don't think she was happy, but she looked really good. Half the time when I made videos my upper half was all dolled up but I still had pajama bottoms on my legs that no one could see. Most of what we put out there in the world is an illusion. Some of us are better at maintaining it is all.
We want to put our best face to the world, but our best 'fac'e is not even a face. Yes, if you look like Meagan Fox, the world is going to give you stuff you don't deserve. But god forbid something happens to your features, the world will quickly take its love away. Just read a tabloid. The world is mean when movie stars let it slip they are only human.
If I wake up and look in the mirror and am hard on myself, I can't let those feeling grow. If I tell myself today that I am too horrible to be seen, I remember that I once said that to myself when I was 15 and was, indeed, actually pretty perfect. I need to do the things that keep me in the realm of loving self kindness, every day. When I do, it is much more likely that I will realize I, too, am beautiful. Right here, right now. I need to realize this.