Maybe you live the rest of your life this way too, giving haphazard mediocre attention to everything and everyone. Making excuses, "Oh, it's just a journal, just a hobby." But secretly you want more.
Art is not my hobby, it is my form of prayer. Every day I sit at the alter of my table and the images I create are on ongoing conversation with God. My entire life is built around it. Around painting.
"I believe that - if you are serious about a life of writing, or indeed about any creative form of expression - you should take on this work like a holy calling. I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns...I was writing's most devotional handmaiden. I built my entire life around writing." - Elizabeth Gilbert