" The cold had polished and clarified the sky into onyx."
pg 43 Lit - from Book Club
That feeling. oh.
That feeling.
Sick naseous tired. Sinking.
Like the year isn't even a few hours old and already its worse.
Made an ass out of myself. Felt
Lonley sick
lonely. Now the morning after,
just sick.
Avoiding betrayed eyes in the mirror.
Mascara caked.
Nail polish chipped.
Too shakey to drive, do I have to drive?
Hard to believe 12 hours ago held manic expectation.
What did I think would happen?
That is what it was usually like on the first day of january, for most of my life since I was old enough to guzzle things I shouldn't. It was nice to wake up and feel well rested, happy, whole. I might not be wearing anything glamerous or have any times to tell you about, but I feel good.
I had period pain and ate 4 bowls of a cereal that is the healthy version of sugar smacks and watched three episodes of Law and Order SVU. Eyes heavy from fighting pain (where is my motrin?) we crashed into the pink blanket at around ten ocklock. Marvelous. Nothing happened. I did not fall in love. I magically slept and celebrated nothing.
At 7 am we awoke and everyone wanted to pee so we walked. It was cold and oddly quiet. No cars going to work. Reminded me of the country and if anything I know when I buy property it will be somewhere without cars. I just don't want to hear anyone. Or see them. Unless I want to. Like the man over 60 jittering down the street toward us dangling a beer bottle next to his thigh. 7 am man. I wonder if he feels magical.
Book Club Note
I am on page46.
