If you are going to try something don't dip into the pool just a little. Get your whole self in. Your head. Wet your hair. Go under water, get chlorine up your nose. Get to the bottom of the pool and sit on the floor. Immerse yourself in it. Then if you want to rise to the top, wrap yourself in a towel, and sit in the sun, you may. You can quit things you try. There is no shame in that. But don't quit until you've really tried, really did the thing you were going to do. Do it with no reward. Do it because you want to. You won't know a thing until you do it completely.