So after our mixed media lesbian love fest I came home to see my new toilet. Can we talk about the toilet now? Thank you. I've been wanting to bring it up for some time but no one wants to hear about that do they. I know we are friends, me and you, but you want to hear about the good stuff. The gigi stuff. Yeah yeah I know. But because I know the toilet story has a good ending I can tell you whats been happening.
Suzi. has not been happy. Not true. Suzi is very happy. Its sunny every god damn day, I got a white stuffed sausage who makes me smile so god damn much I'm annoying to be around, but, my poops have not been happy. No, see, poops like to travel. They spend time with you for a bit rolling around in your belly but really, a poops dream is to see the world. Now, you might not understand what an RV toilet is like because you may not live in a trailer park er um Gypsy Wagon and not understand the finer elements to a life on the road. The toilet that comes with the wagon is sort of a holding tank. Like an airplane, you've road in those. You pee, a door slides open, and pee drops into a black void below. It doesnt go anywhere and its not very happy until its finally released when they flush out the tank. Same thing with a wagon toilet. Magic door poops fall through, and they incubate under the wagon until you flush the tank ooh about 2 weeks later. Why 2 weeks. To keep the tank fresh (ha! As if) you put chemicals in it after every time you empty the dark water (nice term for fermenting poop love). And the chemicals have to spend time making love to poop to break it down. Dont friggen ask me this is how it goes. I dont think it makes sense either.
I digress. Because my wagon is used and because there is the charming possibility that this wagon housed a bunch of illegal construction workers for a few years out in the dessert, chemicals were evidently not used in the holding tank so STUFF is stuck to the sides and wont come off. Lovely yes? Have I lost you? Let's get to the happy ending. My neighbor having ripped out his archaic RV toilet and put a real flush system one in (where it goes straight to the sewage drain immediately and far away from you, just like in your house. You know. Like civilized people), said he'd do the same for me. And he did. OH JOYOUS DAY! Here is the toilet I started out with. You think life is bad until the breath of hell whips up at you every time you try to flush.
This is not normal even for an RV commode. One pull of the lever should be enough, but I bought it broken and accepted the lengthy ritual as a right of passage for having my own place.
